Pushing Back Hard

I was hurt, broken into pieces
my heart, bleeding but breathing.
Freaking, falling but wanting to jump higher.
Yes, I know I have to climb!

Words cut my flesh deeper,
Every inch of me,into further pieces.
I was hurt! Again! For a another time!
Watering eyes, pushing back hard!

Sadness surrounded me.
Blurred the world was to me.
Alone, i sat, at the edges.
Choking. Watering. Shivering.

No time! for love, war and hatred.
Definitely, not for more dramas!
I gotta held head high.
Yes, I know I have to climb!

Home Everywhere...?

As my three years of college life at Miranda House gets over I take my temporary shelter in a rented house  at New Gupta colony with a dear friend of mine. But  surprisingly,before completing the eleven months of agreement between the tenants(me) and landlords I am thrown out from the house. The whole  colony revolted against two innocent girls just simply due to a small birthday party of an another dear friend. And as we become the victims of the hatred and the Cold War existed in the colony even before our arrival  to the place we are left with no options but to leave our sweet small house.

Bags, i keep moving with.

Today is 30th Jan 2015. When I am almost done with packing I recollect all the sweet memories in this sweet house with sweet people. Probably my destiny with this sweet house is over. I know I am leaving from here after two nights but I also know it's just the physical me leaving. Memories will keep taking me back to this sweet house though not to the politically and morally corrupted colony. May be, being thrown out and having to leave this place is a blessing in disguise. That's what I and my dearie concludes at the end. Though we are forced to bid good bye to each other this time but still we look up into the sky to make our wishes and keep our minds and hearts positive. We send our wishes for an another togetherness in a sweet house soon!

I am a single person,no parents or relatives in this land. it's just me. I have few bags mostly filled with clothes and then books. As I move from one shelter to another I move with same bags. It has been years I have been moving with them. Perhaps, there are my family and the temporary shelters I take are my home meaning I have a home everywhere, even in the sky or I am a homeless girl just wandering everywhere with these bags looking for a home. This lone life upsets this lone girl at times but may be it's also a chance for the lone girl to grow as she prefers and wishes or perhaps this is what every refugee goes through.

Roof-top

Rood top, there we met
He in a red shirt
And  I in orange.
A cute drunk guy!

As he sits and cracks jokes
My eyes fell for him
He then sings, funnily,
Until our stomach cramps.

A guitar in his hand,
Sings and sings,
Then passes the guitar to a friend
And then to me.

For the first time, I sang
Among people unknown.
Confidence filling my lungs,
And love in my heart.

We meet, again!
There, at the roof top.
Glances. Chats. Moist.
The night was just OURS!

MY TRIP TO MANALI

After seeing beautiful pictures of Manali from friends and listening to their stories, I have yearned to visit the place for ages and I am actually here today!

There is so much beauty everywhere here to see, hear and touch! I could understand why it has become one of the most famous and well-known tourist place. I could feel why people love visiting this place! Manali; located in heart of Himachal Pradesh, a small part of incredible India. This is a place of beautiful high snowy mountains, river waters, forest areas and fruits, and different kinds of animals to be seen. I was on a bike with one of mine friend. I couldn’t really resist my longing to climb on the mountains, walk into the woods, spend hours near rivulets by just listening to its beautiful sound, and get drenched in it! I could feel the cool breeze crossing my face, which made me feel like I was getting younger each minute though it was bit cold at times.  The trees are very tall and pretty.  It’s one of the most beautiful places I have ever visited! I stopped in-between to click photos of the places!I loved every bit of places I could see around and I felt like staying forever and never returning.  

Visiting Rothang pass was one of the most beautiful days!  It takes one closer to the heavenly sky and touches it with naked hand! I dreamed of seeing snow for years and that day I was actually there not just seeing but playing with it and making snow-man.  The view from Rothang pass was just amazing! One could have glance of whole magical landscape of Manali and its scenery. People come there and stay for days but I couldn’t do the same, though I truly desired since it was very cold over there. People do ice-skating and, both horse and yak riding. My experience on this pass was awesome! Words are lacking me to explain very bit of the moment.

 I stayed in Manali for ten days and I didn’t know how it passed. I was always outdoors discovering and exploring, and enjoying each moment and capturing them in my small camera.  Hotels are very cheap and the people over there are so sweet. They could make one feel like a family.  It’s a place where one could explore not just the culture of India but many of the places around Himalayas. I am Tibetan born in Tibet but got to stay there very little. So, visiting Manali brought me back to the very childhood memories in my own country.  I have been dreaming to visit it more than I have been dreaming to visit Manali. I am actually here in Manali today, but when in Tibet?  I still don’t know.  

IHG! YOU ARE NOT INVITED TO MY COUNTRY! GET OUT OF IT!

Lying sick on the bed and checking updates of the global action day against InterContinental Hotel Group for their plan to open a luxury hotel resort in the capital of my occupied country.  Students for a Free Tibet-UK and Delhi have successfully completed their actions. I couldn’t be part of the action today but that doesn’t mean that I will keep my mouth shut against the injustice and the unfair deal between China and InterContinental Hotel Group. This physical illness can’t stop me from raising my voice against Red China. They occupied my country, murdered my people, kicked me out from my own country, destroyed everything that signifies my culture, turned my heavenly country into a bloodshed bath and now they are selling it. Can I keep my mouth SHUT for what they have done and are doing to me! While Tibetans in Tibet are still under constant repression and suffering, China is trying to fool the world portraying a heavenly Tibet through these kind of projects in the name of so called “development”. China has been diplomatic and has given lame excuses to the world for what they have done to Tibetans and same goes for the deal they have made. They are being diplomatic again knowing that this will give legitimacy to their occupation.

I want IHG to know that you are heading yourself to be the part of human right abuses, destruction of Tibetan culture and oppression of the Tibetans and you are literally supporting the Chinese propaganda and intentionally covering the destruction of the Tibetan culture in Tibet. This is why you are being targeted by Tibetans and Tibet supporters around the world and we will never stop from troubling you until and unless you withdraw from the deal you have made. We will never stop from pulling off your legs for marketing “Lhasa Paradise”, which clearly gives message to the world that Lhasa is a happy and contented place where Tibetan culture is respected, preserved and protected while it is exactly the OPPOSITE! If IHG is not blind or deaf for humanity and morality they should immediately withdraw from the deal with China.

Tibetans are unlikely to be benefited from the project since 99% percent of tourists in Tibet are Chinese and Tibetans have been marginalised from the capital. Only Chinese immigrants in Tibet and the tourists are going to reap the benefits of the development. Therefore, when any development inside my country doesn’t guarantee any benefits for my countrymen I feel there is no need of that development and I would neither welcome nor accept it, I would only welcome them when my countrymen invite them and not have them as uninvited guests on my land. “IHG! YOU ARE NOT INVITED TO MY COUNTRY! PLEASE GET OUT OF IT!”

Tibet- where I was born and where I will die

I woke up with my eyes swollen and nose blocked, I wanted to sleep more but I didn’t because it was 10th March, our national Uprising Day, the day when Tibetans revolted against the invasion of China. My body was feeling so uncomfortable but at the same time I didn’t want to miss the day’s programme, which comes only once a year. So, after a very quick shower, I left my hostel to join the Mass Rally with two of my friends. Tibetans and Tibetan supporters around the world commemorate 10th March every year in remembrance of our Uprising in 1959. We (Tibetans and Tibet’s supporters) raise the Tibetan national flag in the air and come out in the streets either to organise or participate the mass rally. We raise our voices for freedom and fundamental human rights in Tibet every minute, every hour, every day and every year but Chinese and the world remain deaf to our voices. But with the strong belief that each individual would make a difference, I left to be a part of our uprising day.

One thing which cheered me so much before departing from my room was seeing my Indian friend coming to my room in her Tibetan shirt labelled “I love Tibet” while I was getting ready to leave. Living an exile life and having a friend who always stands beside me to show her support is the happiest part of my life.

As a keen observer, I looked around to see how many people had come after reaching the venue. It was disappointing. If I was not wrong there were more Indians than Tibetans at the protest. It was little shameful in front of my Indian friend but then I also realised that she must be used seeing Tibetans’ laziness.  One of my Indian friend used to say that Tibetans always wait for someone else to do something for their country without doing anything by themselves. I found it was proving very true, especially at that point. I wondered what more important things they must be doing in their respective homes without joining for their own national Uprising day. What can be more important than one’s own country! I am not saying as if I am so good but these are what I really felt deep within my heart. It tore my heart apart when we were not able to sing ‘sumchu duedren” and Uprising song well. Even I was forgetting some lines.  I was saying myself “shameful Choeyang”.

Right now, sitting on the floor and listening series of speech by our Indian supporters most of which I didnt understand. But during a speech by one Indian supporter I saw one of my friends clapping his hand so enthusiastically with huge smiles on his face. I couldnt resist my curiosity to fathom what the speaker might have been speaking. I asked "what did he say?”. "Tibetans are not only our guests in India,you can live in India like your own country. Even if Tibet doesn't become free,you can live here as your own land" was his reply. He also added that he really liked what he said but I really wanted to tell the speaker that Tibet will free and we all will return to our own country. I don't mean that I didn't like what he has said. Deep within my heart,I feel very thankful to him and like minded people for standing with us in our darkest period of time. And of course I always feel very grateful of India for giving us shelter over fifty years. We are living as political refugees and not as permanent settlements here so I strongly believe that we will go back to our own country.  We will fight for our freedom till death does us apart. I was born in Tibet and want to die only in Tibet!

13th February 2013

                                    

After working days and nights, finally the 13th February 2013 arrived. The day marked 1oo years since the proclamation of Tibetan Independence by the 13th Dalai Lama. Personally, I was waiting for it, counting the days with my fingers. The excitement of celebrating Independence Day for the first time in my life and that too with my own involvement as SFT-Delhi’s campus coordinator made the day far more special. Events for our Students for a Free Tibet in Delhi included scroll reading, discussion on Historical de-facto of Tibet’s independence, cultural performances, poetry readings etc.

 

I was the anchor along with my friend Purandhya, perhaps the first time I was speaking in front of such a big event, to the crowd but I am glad that it went well. I did my best to gather all my courage even when I could feel the blood running through my veins and body shivering on the stage. Speaking everything on the spot without being prepared was quite an experience. On top of that, the whole event went very successfully as all members hoped for. The success of the programmes made me realise that our hard work and sweat has never gone waste.  CHEERS to all my friends for the huge success!!!!